I Got Id

I think this weeks post will be a mix and match of everything floating around in my brain.

First of all, I wanted to take the time to comment on the Derrida documentary. I was not a fan of the documentary; however, I appreciate the little nuances the documentary put forth. The documentary chose to depict Paris in its most dismal and deconstructed state. This parallels the very message of deconstruction. Instead of showing Paris in its most spectacular grandeur, Paris was, in essence, deconstructed.

The irony of the documentary is that it is deconstructed in nature. Derrida goes into great detail in regards to the self/other relationship and the escapable truth. Ironically, the documentary is trying to depict truths about Derrida. However, Derrida’s truth about himself will be much different that the film maker’s truth. In fact, at one point in the documentary, Derrida explains how he acts differently in front of the camera.

Also, the film was very interesting and voyeuristic. I often felt uncomfortable watching the documentary. There were these remarkable scenes where we watched Derrida watching himself watch himself. I found this visual choice shocking and very effective. I also enjoyed how Derrida was shown as a regular man. The film always focused on his brilliant mind; literally I was always looking at the image of his head. I found that quite remarkable and thought provoking because he was depicted as an average man with this brilliant mind.

Secondly, I would like to comment on psychoanalytic theory. I have always been fascinated by Freud and psychoanalysis. I am captivated by metaphoric and metonymic thought. While doing the exercise in class I realized that I am more of a metonymic thinker than a metaphoric thinker.

However, maybe I like studying Freud because I kind of understand his thoughts. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am in no way saying that I believe in the Oedipus complex or saying I have penis envy. However, I understand that the unconscious is one of the most powerful and revealing forces the human mind has.

I don’t think I will ever understand the depths of my brain; however, it is fun to try and figure out why I, or anyone else, is so screwed up. Also, this relates too many of the ideas we have already studied in language theory. Will we ever really understand language? I am sure we can recall a few important people who don’t think so!

I mean take any one of your weird nightly dreams and try and analyze it. I have this one recurring dream. I am a child and there is this scary clown-man that is chasing me through my empty house. After seeing him kill all of my family members, I try and jump down a very long flight of stairs. However, just as I reach the bottom stair his “go-go gadget arms” grab me and pull me back to the top stair. The dream ends when I am some how transported to my front glass door. It is locked and the scary clown-man is pacing back and forth clawing at the glass. Scary? I happen to think so.

This is one of the night terrors I had as a child. It is one of the only terrors I remember and I always manage to have the dream every year, and every year it gets more and more involved.

Could this perhaps be my unconscious telling me something? Is this figure a displacement of my father? Is this figure a condensation of my fear of death that I acquired at a young age?

I happen to think I have this dream because I am beyond afraid of losing the people I love. This happened because I was introduced to death at a very young age. Perhaps, these are a few of the reasons. I am sure Freud would have a few more ideas…..

Also, I am looking foward to reading Lacan for tomorrow. I am very interested in this mirror business!